Fred Flintstone Is Obsessing.
Paul Myers visits the set of the TV’s hottest reality show.
Fred Flintstone is obsessing.
It is day three of a particularly difficult location shoot on a particularly awkward episode of The Flintstones. The hit reality TV series has, in three seasons, catapulted Flintstone, a work-a-day brontosaurus crane operator, husband and father, to national stardom. That the series has done this largely by exploiting his all-too-real foibles matters not to Fred and his adoring, if long suffering, wife Wilma. What matters most to them is the well being of their infant daughter Pebbles. And at this moment, Pebbles is crying.
So Flintstone is obsessing.
“Terry,” bellows the big man over a two-way radio from deep within the bowels of a pit at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company, familiar to viewers as Fred’s place of work, “can we get some saber-toothed tiger milk for the little one?”
Terry is Terry DeFazio, a 22-year old assistant from Flushing Meadows, Queens, who has been brought in by the series Executive Producer, Cavex Films, to keep Mr. Flintstone, and his entire family, happy.
And right now, Flintstone is anything but happy.
“Terry,” Flintstone bellows, dispensing with the two-way radio, “Do something!”
It’s an unusually theatrical outburst for Flintstone who, by all accounts from cast and crew, has been a dream to work with. DeFazio is quick with the saber-toothed tiger milk. He knows that, on this highly charged set, seconds matter.
“I think sometimes people forget what a rocket ride this has been for Fred,” DeFazio tells me later, from inside the modified trailer used by the Flintstone family for the gravel pit shoot. “Not only is he under a lot of pressure to perform, he’s really putting himself out there, sharing so many of his intimate dreams, failed get-rich-quick schemes and even his bowling scores. I don’t think anyone else could have handled it with as much aplomb.”
This sentiment is shared by many in Flintstone’s inner circle, perhaps none more so that his self-described “bosom buddy, and lifelong pal”, Bernard “Barney” Rubble. Rubble admits that when Flintstone first came to him to become a central and recurring character in the series, his main concern was that they remain friends.
“I was lucky,” says Rubble, “that at the time Fred approached me, I wasn’t doing much of anything, so it was easy for me to just come aboard. Come to think of it, that has been our dynamic for as long as I can remember. My one demand was that we keep our regular bowlin’ night.”
Series producers William Hanna and Joseph Barbera agreed, and now their frequent “bowling night” segments are among the best loved in the series three-season history.
The Flintstones has not been without its share of controversy, however, and recently came under fire from health activists for an episode involving the disgraced diet program, “Over-Eater’s Anonymous,” whose counselors actively starve members and taunt them with cries of “goink, goink, goink” while stealing food from their plates. Some said it sent the wrong idea to young girls with body issues that eating was the enemy. And there are numerous web pages debating, with the sort of fervor reserved for discussions of Area 51, whether an extra-terrestrial visitor known only as “The Great Gazoo” is in fact, the somewhat obscure semi-retired Broadway character actor Sidney Lieber hidden under a layer of prosthetic makeup. Similar controversy surrounds the existence or non-existence of his home planet Zetox, the exact location of which nobody at NASA could confirm, or deny, at press time.
“Gazoo is very real,” Flintstone insists, now calmer with the appearance of his daughter’s saber-toothed tiger milk, adding, “well, to me, anyway.”
Citizens of Bedrock have also benefited from the glare of the national spotlight and membership in the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes has seen an increase by more than 35% in the last year. In February, the company that manufactures the horned headgear favored by the, Headstone Haberdashers, informed the Water Buffaloes that there is presently a 6 month wait on back orders.
The increased demands on Mr. Flintstone have also impacted his relationship with his boss at the quarry, known only as “Mr. Slate”, and while he declined to be interviewed for this story, his spokesman offered only, “We are all very happy for Fred and while we are happy to have our gravel products share the national spotlight, we are concerned that some of the scenarios depicted on the program might not always be in good taste.”
And so, it would appear that a change is in the offing for Bedrock’s most famous citizen. Fred isn’t the slightest concerned about losing his job however. He recently renewed his contract for another year as pitchman for Mountain Dew’s popular “Yabba Dabba Dew” campaign, and he and Wilma have just come from a meeting with The Rubbles in which the producers expressed interest in a spin-off featuring the two youngest cast members, Pebbles Flintstone and her playmate Bam Bam Rubble.
“And if it all goes away tomorrow,” says Flintstone, “there’s always a fortune to be made selling Wilma’s gravelberry pies!”
He rolls his eyes, chuckling at his own in-joke, “Ho boy”.
For now, however, it’s lights, camera, but no action in the gravel pit. The bronto-crane that Fred is attempting to operate is tired and not responding to the bronto wrangler.
The set is fraught. The director is anxious.
And Fred Flintstone is obsessing.
